I pretty much came to the conclusion that I haven't much cause or reason to go back up north, unless I want to slip through to say hello to my father in Illinois (very briefly!!) and then visit my Grandmother in Ohio. I had a terrifying dream that I woke up screaming/crying to, which perfectly symbolizes my desire to visit family up there. Even though I would love to see my Grandmother, there'd be no way in hell I'd get away with not stopping off to see my Father, first.
My brother and me are supposed to be taking off on the morning of the 19th, but he hasn't emailed me yet. I'd email him to find out what's up, but frankly? I'd rather not *know* what's up. Still I know I'm avoiding the inevitable.
I was doing so well, considering I'm jobless and off the meds. I fear this will be too much. Not to mention, I'm still grieving for Kurt Vonnegut (and probably will be for a while).
It was an okay day, but typing all this out just made it a bit darker.