Derisory Heteroclite (kellydor) wrote,
Derisory Heteroclite
kellydor

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O-i Nichiroku (Hello Journal)

Greetings, oh confidants and collaborators!

Of course most of you are aware of my irregular postings. I do hope that I still remain on some friend-lists, however. I am still alive and believe it or not, I still feel motivation for regular postings. At times, I sit and think "If I were to post today, I'd have said..." It's an amusing pass-time, but often-times, it tends to interrupt my ability to fall asleep. To cure this, I've turned on my "White Noise Maker" to alleviate the symptoms.

I post now, as it is my weekend and do not feel obliged. Do any of you ever feel obliged to post? Does it bother the piss out of you? It does me, but I've accepted the fact that this feet is unreachable, without having to set aside a pre-meditated time, to do so.

So let's get the amenities passed, by mentioning my latest endeavors, shall we?
First off, I've put the Japanese thing on hold. Not that I want to stop learning, mind you... I am still very apt to assimilating more words, just that I've maxed the skill-level on "Instant Immersion"'s Japanese Deluxe 2.0 and know everything. Okay, not everything...but I past the entire 8 disc program, knowledgeable enough to take a small reprieve. In the valiant quest of attempting to put all of my recently engaged knowledge into a format, more appeasing, I've been tampering adamantly with Microsoft Excel, in order to create a printable work-sheet, containing information that I can alphabetize and still manage to associate two columns together. Seemingly, this is a quest, un-attended, previously. Whilst making attempts to garner this knowledge, I've happened upon simpler ways to create flow sheet reports for work.

Did I mention that I attend work, an hour early every day, in order to create work-related documentation, without pay? Yeah...this unintelligible effort is made to present what *all* us Florida citizens must befit. That is...Cover your assets.

It is still pretty obvious that I am bitter at this continuance. I wish there were something more pleasant to affirm, but frankly I am frustrated with nearly everyone and everything.

At least I have the continued ambition and drive to continue to learn.

In less arduous task, I've accumulated more family members. That is, a Bearded Dragon named "Cleo"(short for Cleopatra...John wanted to name her Patra, so I thought of something a bit more in-between usual and unusual) and a Ferret, to which we haven't titled. At this juncture, her name is "Farrah". A temporary name assigned, while we make sure that she is not too ill. We acquired her for VERY cheap at our local pet-store, but only because they were unaware of her behaviours. She was recently dropped off(had to be within 48 hours, as we visit nearly every 3 days) and hansn't eaten much since. I decided to take her into the bathroom and introduce her to the cat food. My reason for this, was that we had observed her trying to *get out*. This was somewhat of a sign that she may have been a bit more domesticated that we'd thought. So...I took her into the bathroom, sat on the tub, and let her wander about. Shortly into the bit, she dived into the cat-food and went hog-wild. After barely eating for four days, she went after the cat food and kept and kept eating. So, I kept giving her more. In result of this discovery, we will feed her bits of catfood along with the ferret food, and let her roam the bathroom for a good chunk of time, for sole purpose of venturing. Why not let her out, altogether? Well, I have a electronics in the house...and electricity is bad for the heart, no matter the beast. As the words are phrased "Baby steps". I'm just damned glad she's eating!

Funny note of recent: I've been prescribed Amphetimines. They do not make me hyper, like they do to most. My mother, to quote "If I were on Amphetimines, I'd be losing weight immediately!" If you are unfamiliar with them, they are basically the derivative of Meth & several other "uppers". The drug works with one's attention span(when needed) and prorogates attentiveness. In other words, I get no *buzz* what-so-ever. In fact, it REALLY is all medical. It is related to my illness, with is Bi-Polar Disorder(Manic Depressive). Although, it is usually prescribed to folks who are ADD(Attention Deficit Disorder).

Note on ADHD:
Many folks use this as a crutch to be a pissant. If you know me well, then you are adept at seeing that I am otherwise.

One Last Thing:
I feel this important to mention, though my worries are nearly non-existant. There is a part of me, that still finds it valid enough to mention, amongst you. I may have a condition, called "Cheyne-Stokes respiration". A short meaning of the phrase: "The Cheyne-srokes respiration is a pattern of breathing characterized by deep inspiratory cycle interchanged with complete cessation of breathing. This form of respiration is commonly seen in patients with congestive heart failure, being present in 30% to 40%. Its presence indicates a shorter survival compared to those who do not have this type of breathing." In other-words, I may be dying. Some of this can be related to medication. Some of this, can just be be a few freak incidents(it was noticed, more than once in my sleep pattern. I do not ordinarily snore). I guess we all die sometime. I am a bit concerned, but frankly... I don't care. Most of all, I have enough to worry about, and until this seems particularly *fatal* to me and is observed, otherwise...I'm not going to worry over it. I guess what I'm saying is... if it is to worry about, then it's to worry about. I cant stop my friends from having the knowledge, without being somewhat of an ass. At the same time, I am not ultimately concerned about my well-being.

Here, and this is yours -- Toot Toot!
My love for you and my best for your past holidays,

Kelly A. Dorsett
Circadian Catechumen
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